#999 – Nerdy Nativity

Yesterday I wrote a post about the spiritual side of the nativity. Here’s a post from my first Christmas at The Christian Nerd about the nerdier side of the nativity.

As long as I can remember my family always had a nativity scene we pulled out for Christmas. When I was younger our nativity scene had little porcelain figures that all surrounded a little porcelain Jesus. Then we got a more abstract nativity scene with just Joseph, Mary and Jesus that I stole when I moved out, which you can see above.

Most nativity scenes are fairly straightforward with some variation in color or head size, depending on if you have the Precious Moments nativity. Here are some nerdy nativity scenes that don’t exist but definitely should.

Star Wars Nativity

Jesus: Anakin Skywalker. He may never have been an infant in the movies but he was the chosen one who would bring balance to the Force.

Mary: Shmi Skywalker. She was Anakin’s mom so it only makes sense that she is Mary. I even read that Mary is killed by Sand People in the “Gospel” of Judas.

Joseph: Senator Palpatine. He wasn’t Anakin’s biological father but, much like Joseph raised Jesus, Palpatine guided and mentored Anakin.

Shepherds: Luke. Han. Lando. If the nativity were a buddy cop movie the shepherds would be the buddy cops.

Sheep: Chewbacca. Wicket.

Wise Men: Yoda. Obi-Wan. Mace Windu. Mace Windu needed to make this list because the three kings may not have come from the “Orient” but they definitely weren’t Swedish.

Lord of the Rings Nativity

Jesus: Frodo Baggins. He was kind of small like a baby and again he was the one chosen by the Ring.

Mary: Galadriel. LOTR is kind of a boys party so Mary has to be Galadriel, Arwen or Eowyn. Galadriel seems the most matronly and gave good presents.

Joseph: Gandalf. Again, Gandalf wasn’t Frodo’s father but he helped guide and direct Frodo, almost to his death.

Shepherds: Sam. Merry. Pippin. Boromir. Aragorn. Gimli. Legolas. Had Jesus had shepherds like the Fellowship, I would have liked to see Herod try to kill him.

Sheep: Gollum. One stinky, gross, disgusting sheep.

Wise Men: Elrond. Saruman. Bilbo. Bilbo may not have been as wise as the other two, but a mithril vest is probably more valuable than gold, frankincense and myrrh put together.

Star Trek Nativity

Jesus: Baby Spock from Star Trek III. If Jesus grew at the rate of Baby Spock, his earthly ministry could have started a lot sooner.

Mary: Commander Trip Tucker. Enterprise may not have been the most beloved Star Trek series, but it did feature a pregnant, male chief engineer. It may not have been an immaculate conception but it was still pretty good.

Joseph: Lieutenant Saavik. If Mary can be a man why can’t Joseph be a girl? Saavik was the one responsible for Baby Spock and helped raise him, even when Klingons were getting all crazy.

Shepherds: Captains Kirk, Picard, Sisko, Janeway and Archer. I haven’t watched The Captains on Netflix but I plan to soon. If I had to choose one, though, I’d pick Picard every time.

Sheep: Tribbles. Lots and lots and lots of sheep.

Wise Men: Q. The Prophets. It’s easy to be wise if you’re an all-powerful alien or aren’t bound by space and time.

I don’t have the skills necessary to create these nativity scenes but, if I did, I would proudly display them in my home. I would also create life-size versions and place them in front of my church.

It’s not really important what our nativity scenes look like, as long as we remember what they symbolize and that the greatness of Christ’s birth can’t be captured with some small statues.

Also, it’s good to remember that the wise men weren’t at the birth of Christ.

What memories do you have of nativity scenes?

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One Response to “#999 – Nerdy Nativity”

  1. Your Trek nativity is spot-on. Especially if we ignore strict accuracy and swap Kirstie Alley back in for Robin Curtis. No offense to Ms. Curtis, who did a fine job playing a pure Vulcan as Nimoy directed her to; but Kirstie Alley will always be The Only Saavik in my eyes (which spent much time gazing fondly at her when I was 12 years old, and she appeared far different than she does today. She was also, honestly, very talented. I can’t help but wonder if her career would have gone differently had she stuck with Trek rather than go off to Cheers).

    Your Wars nativity seems skewed toward the Dark Side, which is kinda weird, though I can’t really proffer better suggestions. Maybe put twin Babies Jesus in the manger – Luke and Leia from the last five minutes of Episode III. Then Padme gets to be the Blessed Mother (though not a virgin); Anakin gets to be Joseph (because Joseph was a righteous man and, with the exception of slaughtering those Sandpeople, Anakin was to until Episode III); the Gungans can be the shepherds (because, like first-century shepherds, folks were always underestimating them – “Hey! Weesa goin’ even now to Bet-le-hem! Weesa gonna see this bombad thing the Lord be makin’ known to us!”). And promote Yoda to the Angel Gabriel. I don’t think Chewie would be too pleased to be a sheep, but thumbs way up on putting the Ewoks there.

    Fun post, Scott!

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