#829 – Bumper Stickers

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I’ve had a number of vehicles and a number of bumper stickers on those cars.

On my 1986 Honda Accord Hatchback I had a sticker that said Got Rice…But I Don’t Know How to Drive.

On my 2002 Toyota Tundra I had a Love Wins sticker.

On my 2009 Chevrolet Equinox I had a sticker of a TIE Bomber.

On my current Chevy Equinox I have a sticker of a TIE Interceptor.

I’m all for expressing ourselves through bumper stickers on our vehicles. My TIE Interceptor sticker takes up almost half of my back window. It expresses my love for Star Wars, makes me feel like I’m weaving through space while navigating traffic, and makes it almost impossible to lose my car in a parking lot.

But there have to be some rules to what we put on our car and what themes we represent.

Last week I was behind a car with a ridiculous number of bumper stickers without any common thread. The car had:

A Zelda Tri-Force sticker.

A Deadpool sticker.

A Superman logo sticker.

A Spider-man sticker.

A San Diego Chargers sticker.

A San Diego Padres sticker.

An American flag.

An Aquaman sticker (really an Aquaman sticker).

A Blue Power Ranger sticker.

A Monster energy drink sticker.

That’s a lot of stickers without any real common thread. The car had sports stickers, mixed with Marvel stickers, mixed with video game stickers, mixed with DC stickers. Both the randomness of the stickers and their sheer number offended me.

And it had an Aquaman sticker. Aquaman. Who likes Aquaman much less openly shares that information?

When it comes to bumper stickers I think that less is more and continuity matters. I would never put a sticker of the Enterprise next to my TIE Interceptor sticker. It would be almost impossible to scale them appropriately and they come from entirely different universes.

I put a lot of thought into what kind of sticker I wanted to put on my car. I thought my Equinox was either some sort of TIE Fighter or the U.S.S. Defiant. I couldn’t find a Defiant sticker so I went with the Interceptor. So now if I wanted to add any other stickers to my car, they would need to be from the Star Wars universe and probably Imperial in nature.

Like if I wanted to depict Alycia’s and my future family, we’d have to go with AT-ATs and AT-STs instead of Luke, Leia and some younglings.

I know that nerds care too much about things that don’t matter and this is definitely maybe one of those times, but I don’t care. I don’t have too many hills on which I’m going to die, but number of bumper stickers and their continuity might be one of them.

It’s not important as the divinity of Christ, which is definitely a hill I’ll die on. So maybe propriety in bumper stickers is a hill I’m willing to take a bullet for, but only in the arm or the buttocks.

What bumper stickers do you have on your vehicle? What rules do you have about bumper stickers?

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