#763 – Old Friends



One of my favorite parts about re-watching all of the Star Trek movies last year was gaining a deeper sense of the characters’ relationships. The best movies from both Kirk’s and Picard’s crews focused on relationships that had been forged over the course of decades. My favorite moments from my life are the same; the moments I have shared with some of my oldest and best friends.

Sometimes, though, those moments pass and those friends move on. I was reminded of this reality at our staff retreat this past weekend. A number of my best and most beloved friends have moved on from our ministry. We had a tremendous season together but seasons change and people move onto new opportunities. I loved spending time with the leaders at our retreat, but a part of me missed having my other friends there as well.

Moments like that reaffirm the reality that God didn’t create us to live life alone. Even in a secular society Kirk, Spock and McCoy knew that they were better together. When Riker, Troi and Crusher moved on, Picard mourned the end of a season. We were made to be in authentic relationships, which necessarily means were also made for those seasons to end.

However, I never want mourning a past season to keep me from experiencing what God has right in front of my face. It’s true that a number of my best friends weren’t at our retreat this weekend. But I still had friends with whom I’ve been doing ministry for years and former students experiencing their first weekend away as a leader. Thinking about who wasn’t there could have kept me from creating memories and deepening relationships with those who were.

We shouldn’t view seasons ending and friends moving on as the loss of friendships. I still maintain those friendships and cherish the time I have to invest in them. We should instead view seasons ending as an opportunity to add to our stable of lifelong friends. We’re not replacing anybody but we have more time to invest in other friendships, friendships that could leave us just as sad when their season comes to an end.

But a little mourning at the end of a great friendship is worth experiencing a great friendship.


3 comments on “#763 – Old Friends”

  1. This is so relevant to my life right now. I’ve been sort of mourning my life in SC which I’ll be leaving in two weeks. There are a few people here that have become so dear to me, and my heart is a little broken to leave them. I am so excited at the prospect of being closer to old (and new) friends in California (like you and Alycia, an example of both!), but it has been really hard to get past the fact that I may never see most of these people again. Thanks for reminding me that it’s okay to mourn and then let go of relationships in order to make room for others.

    1. Fortunately I’ve never had to uproot from a place and move on from a group of friends. I can’t imagine it’s easy and it’s probably a good thing that it isn’t easy. Mourning a past season can be healthy, we just can’t let it keep us from seeing the new season before us.

  2. I agree we were designed to be social beings. When God created each day He noted that everything was good. The first thing He said that wasn’t good was for man to be alone. Obviously there are times when we enjoy some solitude but in general like the scripture says: behold how good and pleasant it is for brethren to dwell together . I look forward to the great dinner to be prepared for us all on high. Loneliness and sorrow can be overwhelming at times so it is always good to invite the lonely over for pizza and fellowship or just to hang out and watch tv or listen to some tunes while cruising in the car. People are especially sensitive in times of loss and when we help ease their burden we are fulfilling the law of love.

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