#711 – Scary Bible Stories

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Halloween is this week, which means we’re almost done with Halloween for another year. In recent years I have really turned into a Halloween Scrooge; I hate it more and more every year. I’m sure my attitude will change when I have kids but, at this point, all I have to say about Halloween is, “Bah humbug!”

With that said, Halloween is a time to turn off the lights and watch some scary movies. Since I don’t like scary movies, though, here are some of the scariest Bible stories.

Lazarus

My fear of zombies has been well documented on this blog. I hate everything to do with zombies, except for Zombieland, which was totally hilarious. I won’t watch The Walking Dead and I still have nightmares from watching the original Night of the Living Dead when I was 13. Much to my dismay, though, zombies literally litter the New Testament. Jesus was a zombie. All the people who came back to life after Jesus died were zombies. And Lazarus was a zombie. Lazarus was dead for three days and then Jesus brought him back to life. Lazarus came out of the tomb looking like a mummy and walked straight into my nightmares.

Witch in Endor

I wish that Endor only brought up thoughts about sentient teddy bears defeating the galaxy’s most advanced military with sticks and stones. Unfortunately 1 Samuel 28 exists so now, instead of just thinking about Ewoks, I also have to think about witches and séances. Saul goes to the witch in Endor so that she can contact Samuel’s spirit. Saul needs some direction and, because God won’t respond, he breaks his own law and visits the witch. And whether she really had power or not, Samuel’s spirit comes up and talks to Saul. It’s like the séance room in the Haunted Mansion without as many black lights or Japanese tourists.

Legion

When I was younger I went through a phase in which I was really scared of getting possessed. I read all of the stories in the Bible and it seemed like demon possession was a rather common occurrence. If all those people in the New Testament could be possessed by demons why couldn’t I? The man possessed by thousands of demons from Mark 5 infinitely amplified this fear. When I was younger I treated Mark 5 like The Exorcist; I didn’t want anything to do with it. Now, though, I love reading that story and teaching it. Sure it has thousands of demons, but even those thousands of demons quiver at the Lord and Savior who resides in our hearts.

Even though I hate Halloween, I love these scary Bible stories. They show us that the Bible isn’t boring. Also, more importantly, they show us that nothing, no matter how scary, can compare to our great God.

What are some of your favorite scary Bible stories?

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2 Responses to “#711 – Scary Bible Stories”

  1. My favorite “scary” Bible text is Eliphaz’s account of a spectral visitor in the night, Job 4.12-21. Not only does it have all the right spooky atmospherics, but the message is a frightening one: “If God places no trust in his servants, if he charges his angels with error, how much more those who live in houses of clay, whose foundations are in the dust, who are crushed more readily than a moth!”

    Fortunately for all of us, Eliphaz’s ghostly guest doesn’t get the last word – that belongs to God’s grace!

    Thanks for a fun, seasonally appropriate post! Hope Oct. 31 will manage to bring some fun your way, even if you’re a Halloween Scrooge!

    • Nice one! I often miss a lot in Job because I get very bored. That story reminds me of the spirit who visited Hamlet.

      Fortunately I have great plans for Thursday night. A friend got me some tickets to see my Golden State Warriors take on the Los Angeles Clippers that night.

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