Last week the White House responded to a petition for the United States government to construct an actual Death Star. The response, written by Paul Shawcross, Chief of the Science and Space Branch at the White House Office of Management and Budget, is spectacular. You can read the entire response here; it is definitely worth your time. Shawcross’ main argument is that while a Death Star would create jobs and add to national security, it costs too much and the current Administration does not support blowing up planets.
It would have been awesome to see a star-spangled Death Star hovering above earth but we’ll have to make due with the international space station. Since the Death Star wasn’t approved, we could try petitioning one of these biblical building projects.
Tower of Babel
I’m proud to be an American so it upsets me that the United States no longer holds the world’s tallest building. The Sears Tower, now the Willis Tower, in Chicago was the world’s tallest building for 25 years. It was surpassed in 1998 and is now the 8th tallest building in the world. Petitioning the United States government to build the Tower of Babel could make U.S.A. #1 again. The Tower of Babel would create a number of jobs “so that we may make a name for ourselves.” I can’t imagine the original Tower of Babel reached heights remotely close to those of modern skyscrapers, but it would be fun to see how much closer to heaven we could get. I don’t know how God would sabotage the building project. There are already a number of different languages spoken at construction sites, most notably Spanish and cursing here in southern California. God’s pretty creative, though, so I think he could come up with something, hopefully a Godzilla like monster to destroy the tower.
We should totally petition the government to build Noah’s Ark. Super storm Sandy rocked the east coast and if the ice caps melt we could be in need of a giant boat. Compared to modern cruise ships Noah’s Ark is a little old-fashioned. But, like Agent Coulson said, we could use a little old-fashioned. Not only would a new Noah’s Ark give us an opportunity to survive a massive flood, it would also let us weed out some undesirable animals. I’m all for giraffes and rhinoceroses but do we really need rattlesnakes and black widows? They don’t do anything but poison people and scare me.
The Temple might be harder for a government to build than the Death Star. Even though the Death Star is an exorbitantly priced laser used to destroy planets, people would still have a harder time with the Temple. Every group from the ACLU to the American Atheists would oppose the construction of Yahweh’s Temple. To be honest, I would probably agree with them. I believe in the separation of church and state. We don’t have theocracy like ancient Israel so the government doesn’t need to build the Temple. I have been to the Temple mound in Israel, though, and it was one of the most moving experiences in my life. I wouldn’t mind having that experience without the need for a passport.
Sadly we won’t be getting a Death Star in the United States. It would be awesome but I’d prefer our nation to get out of debt before constructing any floating space station of death. Until then maybe the government can build Noah’s Ark or at least figure out how to raise taxes on everyone and cut spending.
What other biblical building projects would you like to see the government take up?