#340 – Biblical Avengers – Updated

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The Avengers finally releases today! After five movies and years of waiting we finally get to see Marvel’s original super hero team assemble on the silver screen. Here are some Biblical Avengers I wrote about last year, updated with some more team members.

Iron Man – Solomon

In the trailer for The Avengers, Steve Rogers asks Tony Stark what he is without the suit. Stark replies that he is a billionaire, genius playboy. That describes Solomon perfectly. Solomon was the wisest person, who was not also the Son of God, to ever live. God granted Solomon incredible wisdom because, when given the opportunity to ask for anything, Solomon wanted discernment to govern his people. Unfortunately that wisdom wasn’t applied very well and Solomon embraced a playboy lifestyle. His wealth was world renown and woman came from all over to visit him. Visiting women really were an embarrassment of riches for Solomon, who already had 700 wives and 300 concubines.

Captain America – David

More than anything, Captain America is a symbol of patriotism and national pride. Even though his Stars and Stripes costume is ridiculous and completely conspicuous, I wouldn’t want him donning anything else. David was the greatest king in Israel’s history and still stands as a storybook symbol of patriotism and national pride. David slayed Goliath, unified a nation and established a kingdom. And while the Captain’s shield may be cooler than David’s sling and stone, Steve Rogers never sired the Son of God’s ancestors.

Thor – Elijah

Thor is the god of thunder. Elijah rained down fire from heaven and then brought rain to a drought-scorched land. Thor and Elijah are practically the same. Not only are their meteorological skills similar, they’re also pretty good with a weapon. Thor’s weapon of choice is Mjölnir, the magical hammer that shoots energy and makes Thor fly. Elijah was no slouch, though. Elijah may not have had Mjölnir, but he and a group of Levites were pretty good with the sword. They struck down all the prophets of Baal on Mt. Carmel in a story that never makes it to the flannel graph.

Hulk – Samson

The Hulk is a large, impulsive body builder who acts upon instinct. While not qualities normally associated with God’s chosen leader, Samson had them in common with the Hulk. The story of Samson is one of the most popular children’s Bible stories. It has a strong central character, a good lesson about trusting in God’s path and the hope of redemption. It also has prostitutes, sex outside of marriage and erotic haircuts. Bruce Banner may seem to have the upper hand on Samson. Banner is a genius physicist and Samson was nothing more than an overgrown frat boy. But at least Samson got to wear something other than purple pants.

Black Widow – Jael

There are definitely more male characters in the Bible than female characters. And, a lot of times, the females don’t play as exciting a role as the males. That is not the case for Jael. In Judges 4, God takes the glory away from Barak, a man, and gives it to Jael, a woman. Barak was tasked with chasing down the enemy general, Sisera, but because he doubted, the glory and victory went to a woman. As Sisera fled the battle, Jael invited him into her tent. As he slept, Jael pounded a tent peg through Sisera’s head. That’s pretty ninja. Black Widow is also pretty ninja, being a master-trained assassin and member of S.H.I.E.L.D. I’m anxious to see how her un-powered self measures up to the likes of Thor and the Hulk. I imagine her tactics are a little more advanced than a tent peg through the skull.

Hawkeye – Aramite Archer

I was racking my brain to think of a Bible character who wielded a bow. David, as mentioned above, went with the slingshot and everyone else had spears and swords. The only guy I could remember doing damage with a bow was the Aramite archer from 1 Kings 22. Israel’s evil king, Ahab, went into battle incognito, dressed as a common soldier. This Aramite archer just let an arrow loose and happened to nail Ahab in the chest. What with Hawkeye’s appearance in The Avengers and Katniss’ success in The Hunger Games, archery is going to experience a revival not seen since Robin Hood: Men in Tights.

Nick Fury – Ehud

It’s remarkable how much Nick Fury has accomplished even with his disability of only having one eye. It’s amazing that the director of S.H.I.E.L.D. can assemble the Avengers even though he can’t watch them assemble in 3D. Ehud was a lot like Nick Fury in that he had a debilitating disability: he was left-handed. Being left-handed isn’t that big of a deal today but, in the time of the Judges, Ehud might as well have been Captain Pike.

The Avengers finally assemble today and, even though I have to wait until tomorrow, I couldn’t be any more excited. I’m sure there will be plenty of God’s truth in the movie but, until I see it, I’ll just have to think about God’s Avengers assembling to spread his kingdom.

What other Bible characters belong on a super hero team?


1 comments on “#340 – Biblical Avengers – Updated”

  1. Great post, Scott! (Being always a Trekkie first and foremost, I especially liked the Ehud-Captain Pike line… although, if I were to think about it too seriously, I’d probably object to defining either Fury or Ehud in terms of their physical disability. But that would make me a pedant, and no one like a pedant! )

    Good casting all around, particularly Solomon as Iron Man, David as Captain America (fortunately for Cap, no messy Bathsheba business in his life!) and Samson as the Hulk (I laugh out loud thinking about that one – hearing that old piano theme from the 1970s Bruce Bixby series as the dust of the Philistine Temple settles softly to the ground….) If we dip into the Apocrypha, Judith would make a pretty good choice for Black Widow, too.

    Frankly, I can think of one other biblical character who wields – or, at least, wielded – a bow. Fortunately, he only used it the one time, and he hung it up high in the sky when he was done with it as a reminder to himself, “Not going there again!” 🙂

    This is one of your best posts, in my book. Lots of fun and some food for thought, and it would also make a very engaging basis for a youth talk or sermon this weekend. Thanks again for sharing your creative faithfulness (faithful creativity? take your pick) so freely with the rest of us!

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