#199 – The Biblical Avengers
On Tuesday the trailer for The Avengers was released. Since then I have watched the trailer at least 10 times. I am so excited for The Avengers and cannot wait for next May.
I’ve been thinking what the Avengers would look like if assembled with biblical characters. Here is what I came up with.
Iron Man – Solomon
In the trailer for The Avengers, Steve Rogers asks Tony Stark what he is without the suit. Stark replies that he is a billionaire, genius playboy. That describes Solomon perfectly. Solomon was the wisest person, who was not also the Son of God, to ever live. God granted Solomon incredible wisdom because, when given the opportunity to ask for anything, Solomon wanted discernment to govern his people. Unfortunately that wisdom wasn’t applied very well and Solomon embraced a playboy lifestyle. His wealth was world renown and woman came from all over to visit him. Visiting women really were an embarrassment of riches for Solomon, who already had 700 wives and 300 concubines.
Captain America – David
More than anything, Captain America is a symbol of patriotism and national pride. Even though his Stars and Stripes costume is ridiculous and completely conspicuous, I wouldn’t want him donning anything else. David was the greatest king in Israel’s history and still stands as a storybook symbol of patriotism and national pride. David slayed Goliath, unified a nation and established a kingdom. And while the Captain’s shield may be cooler than David’s sling and stone, Steve Rogers never sired the Son of God’s ancestors.
Thor – Elijah
Thor is the god of thunder. Elijah rained down fire from heaven and then brought rain to a drought-scorched land. Thor and Elijah are practically the same. Not only are their meteorological skills similar, they’re also pretty good with a weapon. Thor’s weapon of choice is Mjölnir, the magical hammer that shoots energy and makes Thor fly. Elijah was no slouch, though. Elijah may not have had Mjölnir, but he and a group of Levites were pretty good with the sword. They struck down all the prophets of Baal and Mt. Carmel in a story that never makes it to the flannel graph.
Hulk – Samson
The Hulk is a large, impulsive body builder who acts upon instinct. While not qualities normally associated with God’s chosen leader, Samson had them in common with the Hulk. The story of Samson is one of the most popular children’s Bible stories. It has a strong central character, a good lesson about trusting in God’s path and the hope of redemption. It also has prostitutes, sex outside of marriage and a total that’s what she said joke, when Samson tells the Philistines they wouldn’t have answered his riddle had they not “plowed with his heifer.” Bruce Banner may seem to have the upper hand on Samson. Banner is a genius physicist and Samson was nothing more than an overgrown frat boy. But at least Samson got to wear something other than purple pants.
When The Avengers assemble next May I will be ready to see earth’s mightiest heroes and heroines find themselves united against a common threat. Until then, I’ll just have to gather flannel graph Solomon, David, Elijah and Samson and have them unite against their common threat: PowerPoint.
What other Bible characters belong on a super hero team?