For the next few days I will be camping with Alycia.
Alycia grew up camping with her family. She has spent many nights sleeping in tents and huddled around a campfire. She has nothing but fond memories from camping with her family.
I never went camping with my family. My family spent most of our vacations visiting my grandma in Las Vegas. So while I can’t tell you how to set up a tent or start a campfire, I can tell you the quickest way to get from MGM Grand to Caesar’s Palace and what hotel the Wynn replaced.
Also, as a nerd, camping provides some very specific hardships. Check out some of them below.
Nerds thrive on electricity. It’s that wonderful force of nature which powers all of the things we love: computers, televisions, Xboxes, Playstations and toaster ovens to heat up bagel bites. There are none of those things available while camping because there is no electricity. At least there’s no electricity available while tent camping, which is what Alycia and I are doing. I have friends, though, who go “camping” in $300,000 RVs complete with television, DirecTV, Playstation and washer & dryer. I think even the most connected of nerds could rough it in those conditions.
When in the middle of nature with no electricity there isn’t a lot to do but observe your surroundings. While camping this week our schedule includes a lot of hiking. When playing video games I’m the kind of nerd who likes to search every corner and follow even the most minor of quests. While hiking, though, I’m far more interested in finishing than the journey. When hiking most people like to take their time and enjoy their surroundings. I, on the other hand, view hiking as a race. I don’t even know if anyone else is competing but I want to get to the end first. Because I’m just a sinner saved by grace I can’t boast about much, but I can boast about finishing the hike first.
Zombies and Aliens
Even though it’s completely irrational, I am deathly afraid of zombies and aliens. I never watch zombie movies and the only aliens I’m comfortable with are named Chewbacca and Spock. The problem with camping is that is usually takes place in a somewhat secluded area. I know enough to know that zombies and aliens love to appear in secluded areas. It would be difficult for an initial zombie outbreak to overtake a well populated and well armed city. But a few campers in a secluded valley provide little resistance to a zombie hoard looking to grow its numbers. Aliens also like secluded areas. Why abduct people from the middle of a crowded, well-lit city when, just a few miles away there are groups of humans just waiting to be abducted and probed? It also has to be much easier to abduct someone from a tent instead of a house.
While there are plenty of reasons why I don’t want to go camping, they’re all outweighed by the one reason to go camping: spending time with my my wife doing something she loves. I never thought I would be much of the camping type, but when God brought the right person into my life that suddenly changed.
If we see aliens or zombies, though, I will immediately revert back and swear off camping forever.
What camping stories do you have?